Buhari, Scorpion Sting and Wailing Daniels - Jaafar Jaafar

By Jaafar Jaafar

There was this anecdote that cracked us as young children in the 80s. A boy named Daniel was playing in the bush when a scorpion stung him on his finger. Daniel began wailing uncontrollably. When his brother sought to know the cause of the cry, he showed him a burrow where “something” stung him. 

"What is it, Daniel?" he asked.

"This thing," the boy simply said, pointing at the burrow.

No sooner had the angry brother pushed his finger to find out what stung Daniel in the burrow than the scorpion stung him. Feeling the pang of the sting, he said: "Keep crying Daniel! I will start my own now..."

I join my Southern brothers in wailing over President Muhammadu Buhari's lopsidedness in appointments for several reasons. One, I felt a similar pain during Jonathan administration. Second, I know Buhari is not ruling forever, and when the baton changes a hand, I would not want to see only Southerners around a Southern president or holding key political offices. I don't want a repeat of the pain I felt under Jonathan.

I remember, during the tenures of Obasanjo and Jonah, the North never stopped complaining over marginalization in appointments. Though Obasanjo and Jonathan were able to lace the juice of their key aides and personal staff with Northern flavours, that did not stop us from wailing. I remember sometime in 2012 when I wrote a piece complaining about Jonathan’s replacement of Aminu Ahijo (a Northerner) as his steward with Amos Babre (a Southerner). As ‘unimportant’ as a steward, I wailed. 

Obasanjo's Chief of Staff was Gen. Abdullahi Mohammed, while Inuwa Baba was one of his closest aides throughout the eight years he served. 

As clannish as Jonathan was, his Principal Private Secretary, Hassan Tukur, his Chief Detail one Yusuf and his Chief of Protocol, Jameel Abubakar-Waziri, all hailed from the North. We wailed uncontrollably about this 'lopsidedness'. I can cite an instance when I wailed over this ‘lopsidedness’.

EPILOGUE

Now that Baba married the two wives called Northerlina and Southerlina, we expect him, as a fair husband, to be fair to the wives and their many grown up children of the two wives.

Assuming two children from each wife are mates and Baba decided to give them graduation gifts. 

Baba ordered brand new models of Mercedes S-Class Maybach and a Range Rover — all customized by AMG — from America. And then again, he ordered a tricycle, a motorcycle and bicycle from Wapa to “balance” the gift.

Remember, four children — two from Northerlina and two from Southerlina — graduated the same year. 

In his uncommon sense of fairness, he gave Northerlina's two children a Maybach and a Range Rover, and then gave two other children from Southerlina a tricycle and a bicycle despite the fact that they are age mates, and all graduated the same year with flying colors. 

When Southerlina protested the obvious marginalization, Baba said he will "balance" the gift next year when another set of children graduates.

"My dear Southerlina, don't worry. I still love your sons Aminchi, Ingige and Ubonna. I reserve something good for them," said Baba.

"What is it you reserve for them?" she asked Baba.

"I have Opel Kadet, Vectra, VW Golf 1, Nissan Almera, many motorcycles, bicycles, etc that I ordered from Cotonou. Be patient, I will balance it," he replied.

"Haba! You are biased against my children. The other day you asked Northerlina's children to be in charge of your business. You only draw her children close to you. Haba!," she protested.

Now, how can a new model Range Rover be “balanced” with a "tokunbo" Golf or Vectra or Lifan motorcycle? Do you expect Southerlina to be happy or her children to stop wailing? Do you think there will be peace in the house? Do you expect the children to think that their father is fair? Can you stop the children from wailing?

Everybody who knows how government works, or knows about cabinet hierarchy, will tell you nothing equals Secretary to the Government of the Federation and Chief of Staff.

Can Buhari correct this abnormally? The Hausas say "tun ran gini, tun ran zane" (a pot is only scarified when it's being built). My fear for Buhari is how to convince other parts of the country that he is not biased, or the politicians who worked for his success to support him again. Political sacrifice is rewarded on earth not in the hereafter. Most political "sacrifices" are even sinful before God.

But we must tell President Buhari the truth. Nigeria is for us all. We all have a say as to how we are governed. 

It is a bit late but still not too late to make some realignment.